#Links to #TVStations #WebSites

#ChristmasGift from #JamaicanPizzaJerk owner #BountyHunta

This is a Photo of the Only Gift i received for Christmas. It's from the Chef and Owner of Jamaican Pizza Jerk, Bounty Hunta. It will go with the rest of my trains. I would have prefered if it were Ho and not O Gage. Regardless the gift lifted my spirit and made me fill less crappy about the past few weeks.


No Food Today


I'm pleased i dint eat again today.

Regardless even if i did want to eat today i cant afford to buy food.

I walked to the Bank and my account only has 3 dollars in it.

I had to pay my phone and internet bill. $140.00 my hydro $76.00 that i payed with my $276.00 welfare check. $29.00 i used for laundry and body soap. Now i am broke for 3 weeks and a few days.

The $25.00 my Mom wasted on a lottery ticket for me i could have used more then a no winner ticket, Now loto Quebec has my $25.00 gift and i have a loser ticket from them.

I will frame it.

I am fine with it.

As you can see in the photo, I sleep on the floor for the past 30 years and i have no furniture for persons to sit on.

I dont even recive donations except from Me.

So it is what it is and i have to make the best out of the life i have, knowing i receive little to no moral support from outsiders even less financial support from them.

For the rest of you,

The person you target online (Me) is poverty stricken, So that makes you all stupid poor bashers who disregard Family members and prefer to give gifts to persons who dont place value on your lives and wount be around in a few years.  

#NoChristmas Gifts

All i got was 2 cards and i might get a gift from Bounty and

Milan Art bought me a gift of tobaco and sage.

I got 1 card from my Dad Michael Vasil


1 card from my Mom Lise Page with a $25.00 scratch card.

(i dint win and i need cash more then a scratch scam from our scaming goverment that push loosing gambling scams on elder persons like our Mom's and Dad's)

I received Nothing from the rest of my Family except a phone call wishing me Merry Christmas.

All Christmas is,

Is a day i am forced to be Marry about.


I dont have the same Christmas they have.

The Christmas they have is filled with gifts and food.

My Christmas is empty and painfull.

It is Not like the Christmas Reporters on CTV or Global or CBC or my Family promote or take part in.

To me Christmas is a day when everyone recives gifts except me.

Christmass is a day when my Family members, The one's who live close to me call to tell me they will see me in a few weeks as they get ready for a few day's of celabration.

It's the same with New Years.

I have never celabrated a new year with them just offers from them to do it later that week.

All i know is Bounty owner and chef at Jamaican Pizza Jerk told me he bought me a Christmas gift and will present it to me when he see's me.

I hope it's a toy train.

Regardless i got a gift from a person that place value on my life.


I went out for a bus ride down the Drive early yesterday,

Stopped at the Kettle to talk with the staff and persons i know. 

Normal kind of day.

What was so perfect about today was the bus ride.

As i was making my way to the back of the bus,

 A girl who was sitting in the middle of the seat at the back for what ever reason caught my attention from the moment i got to the back of the bus until the time she disembarked.

She was dressed as most dress so it was not the way she dressed that bewildered me. She had on a pair of reculer shoes with a pair of beige or light brown tights. Just a normal looking person but for whatever reason i was distracted by her.  As the girl got up to leave she looked at me smiled and waved goodbye.

Her approach was filled with this pleasant innocence that lifted my spirit and reminded me of Samantha, Darcy and Tracy. 

Wish more persons were like her.


#NoChristmas because of #MikeAura

That horrible day called Christmas has just about passed and i am so pleased for that.

I dont have to listen to reporters on CTV or Global or CBC brag about the Christmas thay are going to have and promoting expensive products that i cant afford and will never recive.

I am pleased i dint have to sit at Mike Auras home with his family again this year and watch them all get gifts except me.

My Sister Claudia called and wished me a merry Christmas and asked what i was going to do. I found that odd because she knows i only go to her home.

Mel called and asked what i was going to do and told me she went to her boyfriends and got gifts then went to her dad's and got gifts and then went to Mike Auras and got gifts. She asked if i wanted to get together in the next few weeks and do something.

I dont want.

Thats what you do when you brush persons off.

You offer to celebrate with them later.

Like calling a home visit, a soon to be birthday party but early. That way, on that person's birthday, you can say what my family say's to me. We already celebrated the last time you came for a visit.

Unfortunately for christmas i got no gifts.

Like my Birthday when i went to celebrate it at my sisters claudia 2 weeks later. I got no cards or gifts and i went home after my sister lectured me about the price of food and all i did was try to eat 1 hotdog.

Why would i want to go and sit 5 days to a few weeks later and eat with them when what they want to celebrate is pass

and they already celebrated with the persons they value and that was not with me.

All i got from them was a phone call.

Danica did not even bother to call me.

My Sister Patricia dint even call.

They didn't even bother to drive to my home and they have a car.

I dont want to eat or think about it.

#NoChristmas for me because of #MikeAura

I have grown numb to the christmas thing.

Watching persons for the past 10 years and lounger open gifts and not recive 1 is to demoralizing on me.

I did complain and was told by my sister, christmas is for children.

All that did was confuse me because everyone gets gifts even her.

So you see It's Not only for children.

I did get good gifts befour Mike Aura and his 3 girls moved in with my sister and her 2 girls, then for what ever reason i started to recive Mostly dollar chocolate and that stoped.

Not somthing i would value like a Ho Train or i would recive $20.00 that you need a bunch of just to buy 1 pair of jeans. In other words just good for a value village toy and not stuff i needed.

But i noticed all of Mike Aura's inlaws and relations got good gifts and i stoped getting gifts.

 They told me the same about Birthdays 1 year after he moved in.

Parties and gifts are for children, Adults dont do that.

We take children out to eat so they can feel good about who they are and to show them we love and value them.

Adults dont take adults out and do that stuff, We stay at home and work.

It's the same when i asked them to help me with emails for they told me thay are seldom on line but when i go over they dont talk to me because they are all Online.

Pleased i dont have to be in such a horrible and belittling environment for christmas ever again.

Just imagine everyone getting gifts and not you.

The type of persons who would do this are Cold and bitter harted and definitely dont have a Good Aura.

#DontCare if they never call me back

They matter to me less and less,

As time passes I will slowley forget who they are.

I dont like them much because of the disrispect thay started to shower me with.

It disturbs me To think for the past 15 years i sat and watched them and Mike Aura and his relations open gifts and not recive one,

It Not only Sucked,

But was totaly demoralizing.

They are more and more like strangers who dint place value on my life.

One of them called last night and told me if i blog about the way they disregard and treated me,

They will never talk to me again.

 I told her I'm indiferent with that because they seldom call,

stoped giveing me gifts and now show me little to no support with the web sites or email's

She tryed to tell me she is poor and cant aford to buy me 1 gift but managed to buy everyone gifts including Mike Aura's Family Members, Dad, xwife and his children gifts. But forgets to mail our Mom and Dad a simple card.

I went trugh my box of cards and gifts.

I have 4 cards from them and then none for the past 12 years.

After Mike Aura and Family moved in The gifts i recived from them added up to 3.

A box of Cars,

A box of chocolet

and a Sweater thats in the box.

All gifts ended after Mike Aura his relations and his 3 girls moved in with my sister and her 2 girls.

The Aura Family are just strangers to me.

So as time passes I will slowly forget and place less and less value on them and what they did.

As time slips by, they will be more like strangers that i dont know except by Name.

#NoFood #Today

So pleased i dint eat today.

I dint sleep last night but i have to try and sleep tonight.

I cant stop thinking about all that oil on me from the oil drenched burnt with the paste in the middle not cooked perogies from last night. 

All that oil in the pan and on the perogies is freaking me out and i dont want to eat perogies again.

I did drink 2 ensure today because it's part of the arrangements and conditions Dr B has for seeing him.


All that oil was so super gross i just cant stop thinking about it.

All day my skin was all oily from it that i had to take 8 showers before the oil stoped leaching out of my skin and i can still smell it on me.

I hate Oil and i wish i could scream.

It's so gross.

I dont have or ever want oil or cooking stuff for oil in my house.

I just threw the frying pans and pots i have in the garbage.

I have to throw out all the can food and other food i have in my home so it's not contaminated with the oil from my body caused by the oil soaked perogies that were made last night.

Oil is bad and stickes to everthing even if you dont eat it and will make it's way into your skin if you stand around the food that is cooked in it.

I'm pleased i just threw everything out.

I will call my Dad this weekend, Thats only in a few days and ask him for money so i can buy some cooking food to put away.

 I had to throw out the plates and other stuff that probably was contaminated with oil.

I have to throw out the dining room table because that probably is contaminated with oil from last night.

A bunch of other stuff was in the drawers so i threw it out.

I cant have oil or stuff contaminated with oil because it will make me fatter then i am,

and i have a weight problem that i cant seem to resolve.

I have to try and sleep.

#Appointment at UBC today was so perfecto moon-do

Yes Happy Happy,

Yes the staff at UBC students clinic were all so Happy,

Like they are Day after Day all Happy Happy let me rub some off on you.


Don't they ever like get colds or wake up on the wrong side of the bed.

But i have to say pleasant.

It removes the crap going on in my head, so when i sit with Dr Birmingham my thoughts are more centered on my apoinment.

That supper kind girl working up front with the light gray sweat pants on will make a super pleasant wife for a lucky lad who can shower her with the respect she deserves and craves.

That cougar who gave me a b12 shot today without the bruise is so kind and reflective with the way she treats me.

All the staff except for that grumpy looking one are welcoming and warm creating that Happy Happy feeling.


My wait time for my apoinment with Dr Birmingham was short and the staff helped ease the tension and remove the edge by talking a little with me.

Very few persons talk with me.

Most on the bus or street point at me to the persons they are with or just look at me. I dont understand why but i am fine with that.

What freaks me out is when persons approach me on the street or bus and ask me if my name is Martin or Metro.

I tell them no because i dont know them and they freak my brain out.

Freak my brain out in a bad trip kind of way, Like when Dr's at Saint Paul's give me pills.

 My apoinment with Dr Birmingham was pleasant. We talked about the constant thoughts going on in my head and why this is going on. Most times it has to do with food, Other times it's about how i can please my Family and friends or why thay hate me.

We talked about the thoughts i have about food and why i wash the grease off my food with dish soap before i eat it. We talked about the Ensure and how i try to divide it by drinking small amounts at a time and slowly letting it down. We talked about TPN and that won't happen because of my fear of body fat.

Dr Birmingham believes because of the amount of times i tried to kill myself after weight gain it will happen again, so TPN is not an option.

Dr Birmingham believes sleep treatment will provoke worst effects because of sudden weight gain to the organs and he believes the weight gain might lead to suicide, It was postponed.

 Dr Birmingham wants me to keep drinking the Ensure and to eat only small amounts if enney. Dr Birmingham talked about why my body for some time has been rejecting the food i try to eat and arranged for a new test on my tummy.

I have to see Dr Birmingham each 2 weeks.

Today i dont want to eat but i have to.